Who could be a downer on Super Bowl Sunday? Guess…

As the countdown to the Super Bowl kickoff edges closer to zero, it seems every web site tries to kick in their coverage to the max. On ABC, they’re doing an NFL Countdown marathon that started at around noon. I’m not sure they’ll make it to the coin flip unless Irvin starts passing around his ‘secret stash’ to the rest of the panel.

 Well, leave it to someone to be the Debbie Downer. And it shouldn’t really be a big shocker as to who it is. One of the main stories on the front page of Yahoo relates to the “27 billion calories” Americans are set to consume on Super Bowl Sunday. But unlike most of Yahoo’s non-original news stories, this one doesn’t come from the Associated Press or Reuters. Instead, it comes from an agency called AFP, so rare I had to go and look it up. And take a wild guess what “football is really soccer” country this comes from? I wonder what that ‘F’ stands for? Like Stephen Colbert says, it’s French, bitch. That’s right the AFP stands for the Agence France-Presse (and yeah, that’s Press with an extra, unnecessary, E at the end).

“Oh yes, Americans are so fat. Look at the dumb things they do, like enjoy a single day of the year and let themselves go for a little.”

Come on…Super Bowl Sunday is the one day of the year where those diets promised as New Years resolutions can take a day off. What would be the point of this article? Look at this ridiculous caption from the photo: “Americans will embark on a waistband busting orgy of snack attacks during the Sunday’s Super Bowl.” A waistband busting orgy of snack attacks? See, its the cornered market of popular sport that really must offend the rest of the world. No individual sporting moment can capture a single country, or the rest of the world, the way the Super Bowl does. Sorry, France.

Maybe its the backlash from the jealousy of taking over the Tour de France that leads to articles like this. For almost a decade, an American, cancer-surviving, Sheryl Crow-dumping, bike-rider has torn through the French mountains and streets, putting the American stamp on even a sporting event with France in the title. What has France given the American sportscape? So far…well Tony Parker would have to be the best. And although he’s taken America’s hottest housewife, he’s no Lance Armstrong.

Even the headline is offensive. “Peckish Americans?” Peckish is defined in the Euro-sense as “somewhat hungry” which may fit, but the first definition seems more apropos (yeah, we’re taking your words now too, France). The more common definition is ill-tempered or irritable. Although it may be the perception of the outside world (and let me be clear, I don’t want to group in the world to a seemingly American-unfriendly AFP news agency [or agence]) that Americans are ill-tempered, it sounds more like the AFP that is the bitter, party pooping, irritable group.

Happy Super Bowl.

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One Response to Who could be a downer on Super Bowl Sunday? Guess…

  1. They’re just very nervous about their own weight, Steve.

    POT KETTLE BLACK

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